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About livkoko : "Simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life."
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today I went on a first date were my date managed to fall in a creek take me to is ouse and measure my eigt sow me family pictures and perform te Soulja Boy dance in is living room. All wile wearing swim trunks because is pants were drying and e didn't ave extras. FML
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye fir details.", and I have been sending it out fir the past few weeks . No wonder I haven't gotten any replies . real FML
Today, I ad to take a dump . Wile looking for a book to read, I sneezd . Te force of te sneeze causd me to sit my pants . Te glob of dung ten ran down my leg before falling out of my sort onto my carpet, all in less tan 5 seconds . Noting in my life as prepard me for tis . FML
Today, we ran out of milk an my 4 year old son cummd up to me an askd if he can "milk" my wife's breasts 4 his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him an his sister is selfish 4 not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. mega FML
Today , I took tis grl out tat I've been crusing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during te date , I ad to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to te table , a little boy stood up an soutd , "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of te wole restaurant. FML
I was visiting mah sick grandmother in the hospital when mah cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchars!! After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair!! FML
Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten mah glasses and had a migraine. I was straining mah eyes, squinting and rubbing mah temples to alleviate mah migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth cuz mah waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML
Today, I Turnd On My Camera To Find Pictures Of My Dad's Secretary Giving Him A Blowjob. Minutes Later, I Hear A Scream From Another Room As My 12-year-old Sister Discovers Similar Pictures On HER Camera. Mom An Dad Say It's No Big Deal. FML
Friday 27 March 2015