Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

livkoko

Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 8:37am) | Search for a member

livkoko

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 857
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About livkoko : "Simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life."

livkoko's page activity

Visits<b>bobhays</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:46pm<b>silon5</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:08am<b>Haze64</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:03am<b>deviking</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 6:49pm<b>vinny098</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:56pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm<b>BrownBallSack</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:15am<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 1:30am<b>cba7</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 9:50pm<b>sammy726</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 9:00pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 3:40am<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 11:13pm<b>adam97</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:15pm<b>jack10001</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 1:49pm<b>niki839</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 6:43pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:58am<b>FunkMasta</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 9:38am

livkoko's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of livkoko's badges

livkoko's favorite FMLs

Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML

#20030776
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17261) - you deserved it (8415)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:19pm - animals - by speshlk37 (man) - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37846) - you deserved it (2194)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (8567)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32924) - you deserved it (2021)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (2398)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML

#20002582
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (1592)

On 08/04/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by bellsucker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (4264)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (2717)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26016) - you deserved it (12367)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21378) - you deserved it (2660)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

#19967913
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7690) - you deserved it (17361)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

#19962159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10109) - you deserved it (25933)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:47am - health - by fuuuuuh - United States (California)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (2998)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

#19957248
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6118) - you deserved it (70488)

On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11160) - you deserved it (38849)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: