I am neither this nor that, and all of the above. I play football, love punk rock (hardcore!!), play guitar, and can write some pretty decent poetry.
Today, I got a job at McDonald's because I've been really needing money. After work, I got some food with the Monopoly pieces. I completed the set for $5,000, but I can't claim it because I work for McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21930) - you totally deserved it (1884)
On 10/13/2009 at 1:41am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42666) - you totally deserved it (1787)
On 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by hockey9797 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you totally deserved it (54925)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12005) - you totally deserved it (29741)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60117) - you totally deserved it (3882)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45766) - you totally deserved it (9136)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5291) - you totally deserved it (108362)
On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7872) - you totally deserved it (111420)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5159) - you totally deserved it (107795)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States
Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79026) - you totally deserved it (3205)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting "we have a problem!". Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage & half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37882) - you totally deserved it (6105)
On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9404) - you totally deserved it (106241)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - health - by ugh!! (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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