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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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live_and_learn

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live_and_learn
  • Town/Country : Keller, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 June 1987 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2349
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About live_and_learn : I'm one of the most ambitious people I know without any realistic goals. Currently I plan on living in a hut on the beach and surfing all day until career options more profitable than an artist/rock star/professional surfer come to mind...

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live_and_learn's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (2380)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML

#5636942 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (28617)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML

#5203639 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (31286) - you deserved it (3537)

On 09/12/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Lukev7 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (29692) - you deserved it (2897)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my blackberry started to ring from my pocket... FML

#5105234 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (10228) - you deserved it (37295)

On 09/07/2009 at 1:32pm - money - by ByeByeBlackberry (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (8986) - you deserved it (29428)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (1917)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML

#4651502 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (5394) - you deserved it (58564)

On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (10215) - you deserved it (47760)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (35700) - you deserved it (10807)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697 (372)

I agree, your life sucks (86651) - you deserved it (3588)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (57201)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

#4308181 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (21850) - you deserved it (59845)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date night down a dirt road to a field in the middle of nowhere. He packed some blankets, a bottle of wine, and some condoms. He didn't know the dirt road was actually a driveway until all of our clothes were off. FML

#4281223 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (35934) - you deserved it (8667)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Stars (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided that I was going to quit my job. I wrote my letter of resignation and sent it to my boss. 3 minutes later, I get an email announcing that the company will be closing their doors and for making this announcement on such short notice, all employees get a 6 year leave. FML

#4279807 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (42782) - you deserved it (6581)

On 08/04/2009 at 11:29am - work - by Jobless (woman) - United States (New York)