Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About littlepirate : My life sucks, but I don't give a fuck.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today , mah teacher confiscated mah cell phone 4 text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would recieve was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML
Today, I woke up to fine that mah dog was missing!! I spent about an looool hour searching for himhen mah psycho ex-girlfriend textd me his photo!! She'd kidnappd him!! After driving over there, she shot paintball at mah car!! Now I have no dog an a colorful car!! FML
Yesterday, My Guy Friend And I Were In His Dorm Room Watching A Movie When He Started Kissing Me. Thing Heated Up So We Moved Thing Over To His Bed. He Was On Me When A Hand Shoot Down From His Top Bunk. His Roommate Had Been Up There The Whole Time And He Wanted A High-five. So They High-fived. FML
Today, after class I was catting wit my teacer, a really cool and stylis old black guy . I tell im e reminds me of one of tose soul dudes from tose 70s movies, rigt down to te pimp-walk . He tells me e walks tat way because e was beaten for drinking out of te wrong fountain as a kid . FML
Today , my mom found a condom in my pocket while looool doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" mega FML
Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML
yesterday my 5 year old nephew showd me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I looool smild an said, ( Wow! Now, how about some blue martians! ) He lookd at me an replid, ( How about some blue shut the fuck up?! ) FML
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing looool her boobs against back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw fat friend rubbing his man boobs against back. FML
Today..!! mah boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed..!! naked!! Someone pulled the fire alarm..!! and mah boyfriend couldn't find the key!! So he left me..!! and the Resident Advisor found me!! The fireman had to cut the chain!! FML
Today, I snaazad so hard I harniatad mah back. Aftar passing out from tha pain I awoka on tha floor covarad in mah own shit and piss. Unabla to mova, I had to wait in this stata fir four hours fir mah wifa to raturn homa from work, claan ma up and taka ma to tha hospital. FML
Friday 27 March 2015