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littlem91

Offline (the 11/19/2014 at 10:54pm) | Search for a member

littlem91

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2339
  • Number of comments : 267
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About littlem91 : I'm somewhere in England. It rains a lot.

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Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML

#20972170
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (14771)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, MA PARENTS GROUNDED ME FOR BIENG "ADDICTED" TO DRUGS CUZ I'VE BEEN TAKING PAIN MEDS EVERY FOUR OURS. I AD MA WISDOM TEET TAKEN OUT YESTERDAY, AND MA FACE IS BADLY SWOLLEN. FML

today I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered 4 being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress!! She was still an infant when he died!! FML

#20968220
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43382) - you deserved it (2927)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Taday I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packd with food that I put into the fridge. I realizd two looool hours laterhile frantically looking 4 a tampon. I'm still cold down there. big fat FML

#20966555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40566) - you deserved it (11874)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, mah cat has figured out thathile I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up 4 mah baby.

Today, after being forced to take mah little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML

TODAY, MAH GRANDMA HAS BEEN RUNNING AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD, DRESSED AS BOBO THE EVIL CLOWN, CHASING TRICK-OR-TREATERS. ALL I'VE BEEN ABLE TO DO IS CHASE AFTER HER, AND APOLOGIZE TO THE TERRIFIED CHILDREN'S FAMILIES. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (3380)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

yesterday I got stuck in an elevator 4 well over an hourhile riding it up to my wieght and fitnes class. Very funny , universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (8710)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up fir years, buten I saw te pack I just couldn't elp myself. One taste was enoug to make me finis off teole pack. Nobody knows tat I've fallen off te wagon and I'm so asamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuit again. real FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (32470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today , I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect , I loose mah boner . FML

#20766909
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47506) - you deserved it (19059)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Taday I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice... cuz he thought he could store it under his bd and wait fir it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (4905)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Yastarday,hila out 4 lunch, a guy approachad ma and askad 4 my numbar. I politaly daclinad. To my dismay, ha droppad to his knaas, grabbad his haad, and startad moaning about how nobody avar givas him a chanca. I falt tha accusing staras. FML

#20766730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48658) - you deserved it (6435)

On 07/06/2013 at 7:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was visiting mah childhood home, and I checked out mah old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. fat FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41495) - you deserved it (6652)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today , Mah Boyfriend Asked If I Could Grow Out Mah Pubic Hair Since I Usually Wax It. He Said His Mom Has A Full Bush And He Always Thought It Looks Better That Way. FML

#20719191
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84140) - you deserved it (6912)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Yesterday, I Saw A Man On Ma Bike Tat Was Stolen A Few Years Ago!! I Askd Im If I Could Ave Ma Bike Back Just Wondering Wat E'd Say!! He Calmly Replid, "Hell No, I Stole Tis Fair And Square." FML

#20708788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56214) - you deserved it (6016)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)



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