About littlem91 : I'm somewhere in England. It rains a lot.
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littlem91's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
by lauren_crewd / 11/23/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML
by fs / 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by InsertPopcicle / 11/22/2013 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
Today, after being forced to take my little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML
by PumaPounce / 11/02/2013 at 12:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML
by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm / United States (New Mexico) / Health
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML
by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health
by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by StockedWithJuice / 07/06/2013 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 7:26am / United States / Love
by skunked / 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Animals
by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…
- Today, I’m a trainee who recently arrived in a prestigious company. My boss walked in on me sorting… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…