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About littlebluebox : Bowties are cool and I don't blink.
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Today, I dislocatd mah shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and mah eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stoppd, and I was thrilld because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stoppd to order a cheeseburger. FML
Today I wore a bikini to te lake wit my parents. I didn't know tat my back was covered in bruises an ended up aving to awkwardly explain to my parents tat I am not in an abusive relationsip; te bruises cummed from te sex I ad last nigt. FML
Today... I'va baan gatting calls 4 ovar a waak on my homa phona... call phona... and tha work phona at my night shift... in which somaona whispar tarrifying Satanic-sounding chant at ma. I'va now found out that tha callar is my bast "friand". His axplanation: "You saamad lonaly... man." FML
Today, ma usband and I arrivd in Barbados on vacation. We visitd a club, and tey ad a selection of drinks wit werd names. My usband orderd one calld te Raging Bitc, flickd is finger towards me, and said to te barkeeper, ( Migt as well get someting I'm usd to. ) FML
Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered an said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, an that's why she has such bad balance. FML
Today, hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witnes her kick the mutilated bodie of her two babie out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now sister refuse to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML
Today , I showd the kids I was babysitting a picture of mah daughter , and the little girl askd , "You have a baby in yur belly?" I said , "No , she's not in mah belly anymore," and the little girl replid , "But it's BIG," and pattd mah stomach. FML
Today,hile taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket . I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool . Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet . I was robbed with my own knife . FML
Today , I bought a device that plays a high-pitchd sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to leren that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough , she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML
Friday 27 March 2015