About littlebluebox : Bowties are cool and I don't blink.
50 favourites
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Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46472) - you deserved it (8511)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72937) - you deserved it (4290)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54412) - you deserved it (4702)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40982) - you deserved it (5295)
On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45062) - you deserved it (3680)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (43748) - you deserved it (6033)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56401) - you deserved it (7995)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39009) - you deserved it (9416)
On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (53139) - you deserved it (10742)
On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52025) - you deserved it (2696)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands
Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56358) - you deserved it (6519)
On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46264) - you deserved it (2735)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil
Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47390) - you deserved it (6400)
On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43167) - you deserved it (1644)
On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States
Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35172) - you deserved it (4368)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:22pm - animals - by Annonymous_Dad (man) - United States (Indiana)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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