About little_one : Well if you must know I am a hairstylist, I'm an athetist, I love books, and writing but you wouldn't know it by my poor grammar and run-on sentences. I run my mouth off too much and my opinions aren't always popular but it's just my opinion. Satisfied? I'm also happily married. So I'm not interested in anything more than chatting.
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little_one's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML
by OhWhoCares / 08/17/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
by smooth / 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm / United States / Work
Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML
by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 10:24am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work
by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Gibsonsgfreak21 / 03/25/2014 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…