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Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65606) - you deserved it (2788)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55610) - you deserved it (11974)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29995) - you deserved it (4391)
On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (3630)
On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)
Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (10851)
On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6930) - you deserved it (51272)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37916) - you deserved it (3032)
Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (8471)
On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15879) - you deserved it (31194)
On 03/04/2013 at 12:01am - love - by DEATHBYEX1LE - Australia
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126835) - you deserved it (4845)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139740) - you deserved it (11032)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (171239) - you deserved it (7672)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121226) - you deserved it (5962)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (181965) - you deserved it (25549)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (145414) - you deserved it (5512)
Monday 17 June 2013
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