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I agree, your life sucks (29238) - you deserved it (6967)
On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29513) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (34335)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32797) - you deserved it (2284)
On 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by caitlinz5 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20638) - you deserved it (10890)
On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (2845)
On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31859) - you deserved it (3202)
On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (3958)
On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (7644)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41551) - you deserved it (13498)
On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (10319)
On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (7541)
On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41554) - you deserved it (7654)
On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20727) - you deserved it (3897)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (4520)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Monday 20 May 2013
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