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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6238
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About limeyemilyy : Hey! I like reading fml's! (no duh ...) I comment every now and then.
Even though I am somewhat of a grammar Nazi, I won't troll anyone's mistakes. :)

limeyemilyy's page activity

Visits<b>misspeach13</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 10:46pm<b>Crf250R37</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:53pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:17am<b>ismedrage</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:30am<b>Holmes27</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:53pm<b>MitchellIIt</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:36pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:15pm<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:48pm<b>bloodierframe30</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 10:50pm<b>bryguy89</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:36am<b>0llys</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 12:46am<b>anonimeeeee</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 1:11pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 1:46am<b>Release_929</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 1:34am<b>BurningGrannies</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 2:01pm<b>iSatori_11</b> - the 08/27/2011 at 1:48pm<b>lastsinglepanda</b> - the 08/27/2011 at 8:33am<b>urcadox</b> - the 08/27/2011 at 5:07am

Fucked!<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 3:17pm

limeyemilyy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

limeyemilyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

by liLbob6598 / 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

by Username / 12/15/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

by nirvana_mama157 / 11/28/2011 at 7:51am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 6:46am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

by loves the smell of burning flesh / 11/01/2011 at 9:22am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML

by DirtyCharmed / 11/01/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 2:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Love