About limegreenpoopie : I don't bite. Hard.
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limegreenpoopie's favorite FMLs
Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML
by itswhateverr / 05/03/2009 at 12:16am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I went to my cousin's communion. We came late and walked to the front of the church where my family was. Everyone stared and laughed but I ignored it. After the service was done my mom came up to me and pulled a long piece of toilet paper out of my skirt. FML
by skjjj / 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by birdmagnet / 04/25/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
by CollegeGrad / 04/25/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Utah) / Work
Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML
by anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML
by fastfingers409 / 04/22/2009 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
by Jesus / 04/21/2009 at 10:39am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. They informed me they were lawyers throughout the meal, which explained the gorgeous house. My boyfriend excitedly told them I was promoted manager at my job. They asked where I work. I work at Burger King. FML
by Vac / 04/05/2009 at 10:12am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML
by sweet / 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
by happybirthday / 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by deez_nutz / 03/10/2009 at 8:46am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by laywer_man / 03/07/2009 at 1:43am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous