About limegreenpoopie : Hey there, I'm Maha. And I don't bite.
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Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40449) - you deserved it (14343)
On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9085) - you deserved it (38503)
On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35231) - you deserved it (7844)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:55am - love - by thanksbaby (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (192082)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33197) - you deserved it (12065)
On 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (2633)
On 05/10/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14201) - you deserved it (46382)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (207020) - you deserved it (10105)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50521) - you deserved it (2801)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to my cousin's communion. We came late and walked to the front of the church where my family was. Everyone stared and laughed but I ignored it. After the service was done my mom came up to me and pulled a long piece of toilet paper out of my skirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (8651)
On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by skjjj (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44942) - you deserved it (8424)
On 04/25/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by birdmagnet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53798) - you deserved it (12270)
On 04/25/2009 at 2:39am - work - by CollegeGrad (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64333) - you deserved it (6798)
On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17655) - you deserved it (32075)
On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36236) - you deserved it (8449)
On 04/21/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Jesus (man) - United States (Maine)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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