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lily3527

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lily3527

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  • Number of visits : 120
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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lily3527's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML

#9179900
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (3781)

On 03/18/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML

#7297645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/12/2010 at 10:08am - work - by Colormered - France

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

#5340344
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40155) - you deserved it (3802)

On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML

#5019794
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62328) - you deserved it (12477)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

#3897679
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10474) - you deserved it (76999)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:54am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML

#3635779
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47674) - you deserved it (3159)

On 07/10/2009 at 8:50am - misc - by icanunderstand (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55380) - you deserved it (6871)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

#3266554
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10352) - you deserved it (72432)

On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

#2822887
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87271) - you deserved it (9927)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (100936)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

#516952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52930) - you deserved it (11941)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

#12686
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (3040)

On 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm - misc - by CBM2012 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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