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lily3527

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lily3527

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lily3527's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (2073)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

#18896418
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30159) - you deserved it (3882)

On 01/24/2012 at 1:42am - love - by nacho (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

#18692571
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (2207)

On 01/03/2012 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML

#18601417
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (15749)

On 12/24/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by Nowajerk (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38188) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38124) - you deserved it (5697)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said "see you in Kansas". FML

#15733028
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (7506)

On 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by anonymous -

Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML

#14019347
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25268) - you deserved it (6246)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by brandiboobarry -

Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML

#13868959
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11120) - you deserved it (23009)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by genderbender (woman) - Reserved

Today, my ex-boyfriend's mother came up to me at school, yelling and causing a scene in front of everyone for breaking her son's heart. We broke up over a year ago because he was cheating on me. FML

#13073501
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (2138)

On 09/16/2010 at 12:23pm - love - by whatabitch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

#12867561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11837) - you deserved it (21552)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by hatesgravity (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML

#10981673
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40099) - you deserved it (3713)

On 06/05/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by someoneelsessaliva (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML

#9179900
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (3793)

On 03/18/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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