lily27

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lily27

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 229
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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lily27's page activity

Visits<b>jewwybeanzzz</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 4:53pm

lily27's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lily27's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found the purity ring I lost a year ago. Too bad I lost my virginity 4 months ago. FML

by BNLM / 03/08/2010 at 8:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

by Twilightsux / 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm / United States / Love

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

by evil / 01/27/2010 at 12:07am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

by Ben / 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

by hardtotell / 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

by Beeh / 12/24/2009 at 12:31am / United States / Animals

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy