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lilswimmybird

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lilswimmybird

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 73
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About lilswimmybird : Hi

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lilswimmybird's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML

#20692547
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50508) - you deserved it (10538)

On 05/29/2013 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

#20649796
117 comments

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36911) - you deserved it (5399)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34311) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (5956)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

#19779823
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18948) - you deserved it (2748)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:14am - animals - by missmisfit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33563) - you deserved it (9946)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (4638)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

#17187115
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47028) - you deserved it (2774)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60083) - you deserved it (7407)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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