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lilrocker90's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
lilrocker90's favorite FMLs
Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML
by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
by Employee / 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Lee / 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm / United States / Animals
by rubberduckie94 / 04/06/2012 at 9:17am / United States / Animals
Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/09/2012 at 10:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
by Whyme / 01/09/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
by vanessa560 / 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by yourebeautiful / 12/31/2011 at 3:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
- Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk… Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into… Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had…