Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

liljon3

Search for a member

liljon3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11427
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

liljon3's last visitors

liljon3's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

liljon3's favorite FMLs

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27494) - you deserved it (44768)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27494) - you deserved it (44768)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72235) - you deserved it (21999)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69092) - you deserved it (7814)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

#1694446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14594) - you deserved it (118769)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

#1665462
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45064) - you deserved it (8158)

On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went downtown to pay my speeding ticket. After standing in line and arguing with a rude woman behind the desk, I get back to my car only to find an expired meter and a parking ticket. I got a ticket while paying my ticket. FML

#1634783
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43286) - you deserved it (14750)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was babysitting a four year old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me and that I should go die and never come back. FML

#1474084
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41190) - you deserved it (16360)

On 04/29/2009 at 9:34pm - kids - by GirlinGreen - United States (Washington)

Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML

#1368223
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51732) - you deserved it (2397)

On 04/26/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chippuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML

#1027558
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68705) - you deserved it (9092)

On 04/16/2009 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

#1026583
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78558) - you deserved it (7506)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by Puppysit88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11440) - you deserved it (67378)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving and I saw was a dog running onto the road, I slammed on the brakes to a completely stop. Multiple cars crashed into the back of my car. It turns out it wasn't a dog, it was just newspaper blown by the wind. FML

#943604
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (46865)

On 04/13/2009 at 1:41am - animals - by Peta - Canada

Today, my two year old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

#940357
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34873) - you deserved it (22431)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

#929724
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66172) - you deserved it (11176)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: