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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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lilian96

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lilian96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 July 1996 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 29272
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lilian96 : awesome .

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Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

#2241699 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (61664) - you deserved it (2724)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (13237)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566 (411)

I agree, your life sucks (6601) - you deserved it (128107)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

#2235853 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (46728) - you deserved it (2865)

On 05/24/2009 at 8:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853 (445)

I agree, your life sucks (12030) - you deserved it (94327)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (46214) - you deserved it (31508)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML

#2230687 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (54049) - you deserved it (9026)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by Imretarded (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

#2230053 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (8817) - you deserved it (40565)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

#1769804 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (9599) - you deserved it (33402)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:08am - animals - by Christine (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his grandfather's funeral. At the reception, his family members insist on hearing me play piano. After getting positive reactions, I dive into one of my favorites, Rustle of Spring. In 2 seconds everyone bursts into tears. That was Papa's favorite too. FML

#1768165 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (43310) - you deserved it (2716)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by pianokiller (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

#1753127 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (48920) - you deserved it (7181)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by man (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

#1752202 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (37499) - you deserved it (12834)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by ydahs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

#1751733 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (44469) - you deserved it (8918)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by gangstalicious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

#1751488 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (16265)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (61375) - you deserved it (32558)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)