About lilhellian : I have accepted the duty of the being an assassin against comments such as "thats shitty." I dont just snip, I'm capable of being a ninja. I am The Puppy Assassin. I has a female pomerian chipmunk baby named joey with squeakychipmunk! I am atheist...
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26568) - you deserved it (4994)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18511) - you deserved it (1519)
On 11/13/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by mandie - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6161) - you deserved it (37123)
On 08/13/2011 at 11:56pm - health - by j - United States
Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8589) - you deserved it (38590)
On 07/08/2011 at 10:57am - misc - by jen - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I lost my virginity. I also found out that if I have a powerful enough orgasm, I am launched into a lengthy and uncontrollable sneezing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23710) - you deserved it (2856)
On 11/06/2010 at 10:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I lost my virginity. I also found out that if I have a powerful enough orgasm, I am launched into a lengthy and uncontrollable sneezing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23710) - you deserved it (2856)
On 11/06/2010 at 10:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I took a shower and right after I fell asleep on my bed wrapped in my towel. I awoke to find my dad slapping me in the face. He thought I had fainted because I'm a diabetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17626) - you deserved it (3647)
On 10/27/2010 at 2:07am - health - by haleyfml - United States (California)
Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (6401)
On 09/18/2010 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (6401)
On 09/18/2010 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11264) - you deserved it (41411)
On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12284) - you deserved it (2283)
On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6299) - you deserved it (35121)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27009) - you deserved it (1837)
On 12/10/2009 at 12:24am - work - by g_unit (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13844) - you deserved it (3127)
On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7115) - you deserved it (18211)
On 10/21/2009 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
