About lilhellian : I have accepted the duty of the being an assassin against comments such as "thats shitty." I dont just snip, I'm capable of being a ninja. I am The Puppy Assassin. I has a female pomerian chipmunk baby named joey with squeakychipmunk! I am atheist...
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (6396)
On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (6396)
On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19811) - you deserved it (8927)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you deserved it (10675)
On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (1774)
On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7536) - you deserved it (18484)
On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5385) - you deserved it (26374)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13271) - you deserved it (1483)
On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12824) - you deserved it (32083)
On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (28025)
On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19110) - you deserved it (2784)
On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)
Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20319) - you deserved it (2069)
On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15936) - you deserved it (1480)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18936) - you deserved it (1947)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8637) - you deserved it (17960)
On 03/27/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by MattBC97 - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
