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Offline (the 03/15/2015 at 5:31pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9323
  • Number of comments : 1819
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lilhellian : I have accepted the duty of the being an assassin against comments such as "thats shitty." I dont just snip, I'm capable of being a ninja. I am The Puppy Assassin. I has a female pomerian chipmunk baby named joey with squeakychipmunk! I am atheist...

lilhellian's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 11:38pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 6:16pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 2:08am<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 2:45am<b>EevieBear</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 1:32pm<b>blawho</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 11:36pm<b>Lesbiantrash</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 11:49pm<b>endurancefan212</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 4:50pm<b>sassykenzie</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 3:05am<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:42pm<b>miriamfrank</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 3:38am<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:20pm<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 11:23am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:00am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:04am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 6:13am<b>biggins224</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:08am<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:59pm

Fucked!<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 5:38am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:20pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 2:38am<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 2:18pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 5:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:48pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:21pm<b>SirFawkes</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:40pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:02am<b>Kazze</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:06am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:53am<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:24pm<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:50pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:17pm

lilhellian's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lilhellian's badges

lilhellian's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2013 at 4:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 3:14am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

by datingablonde / 01/11/2013 at 12:20am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML

by finallyready / 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

by WasZumTeufel? / 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

by melas303 / 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm / United States / Love

Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

by ELparano / 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 10:14am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

by un_christmas / 12/25/2012 at 1:41am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Love

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

by oh my son / 12/23/2012 at 1:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

by ehrmagahd / 12/19/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.