About lilemmy55 : Country girl ❤ mudding ❤ fishing ❤ hunting ❤ follow me on twitter @BamitsEmilly
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lilemmy55's favorite FMLs
by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML
by emm / 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by eric / 03/16/2011 at 3:31am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
by Jim / 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy
by ouch / 02/09/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
by Stormbringer / 02/01/2011 at 1:37am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…