About lilemmy55 : Country girl ❤ mudding ❤ fishing ❤ hunting ❤ follow me on twitter @BamitsEmilly
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Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25017) - you deserved it (3077)
On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41122) - you deserved it (3496)
On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (7096)
On 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by emm (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16258) - you deserved it (69691)
On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30423) - you deserved it (4416)
On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -
Today, every fire alarm in my house went off. At 3AM. I ripped them all out of the ceiling. We have 49 because the previous owners were scared of fire. They are still going off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (2954)
On 03/11/2011 at 2:00am - misc - by dancer7718 -
Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29522) - you deserved it (7013)
On 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by Jim - United States
Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38969) - you deserved it (3311)
On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38741) - you deserved it (10384)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (3412)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13421) - you deserved it (23429)
On 02/09/2011 at 1:02pm - health - by ouch - United States (Washington)
Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37488) - you deserved it (2386)
On 02/08/2011 at 7:48am - health - by soccerscout7 -
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (2797)
On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -
Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19667) - you deserved it (5892)
On 01/31/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by f -
Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28216) - you deserved it (3766)
On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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