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lilemmy55

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lilemmy55
  • Town/Country : Wolfpen Holler
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 April 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 922
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lilemmy55 : Country girl ❤ mudding ❤ fishing ❤ hunting ❤ follow me on twitter @BamitsEmilly

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lilemmy55's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11744) - you deserved it (46126)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8850) - you deserved it (28356)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

#16416725
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45480) - you deserved it (4168)

On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (58376)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52282) - you deserved it (9882)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

#16149509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (4171)

On 05/12/2011 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Georgia -

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

#16000939
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11920) - you deserved it (30619)

On 05/01/2011 at 4:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71463) - you deserved it (5444)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17248) - you deserved it (40344)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (91268)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16616) - you deserved it (52111)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91105) - you deserved it (6398)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (53548)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (42450) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41751) - you deserved it (6420)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)



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