About lilemmy55 : Country girl ❤ mudding ❤ fishing ❤ hunting ❤ follow me on twitter @BamitsEmilly
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Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (2941) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6054) - you deserved it (20070)
On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8444) - you deserved it (49962)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29051) - you deserved it (4268)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37430) - you deserved it (6764)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13965) - you deserved it (25358)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10082) - you deserved it (29242)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6661) - you deserved it (54420)
On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13485) - you deserved it (3347)
On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23180) - you deserved it (3904)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized just how awful my relationships have been when I discovered I emotionally connect with women on Jerry Springer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13023) - you deserved it (3714)
On 04/22/2012 at 2:14pm - love - by Coquette (woman) - United States
Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML
I agree, your life sucks (11957) - you deserved it (2646)
On 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by amazed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4013) - you deserved it (47288)
On 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm - work - by bananamuffin - United States
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30047) - you deserved it (4916)
On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States
Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18364) - you deserved it (5100)
On 02/07/2012 at 8:40pm - health - by screwed - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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