About lilemmy55 : Country girl ❤ mudding ❤ fishing ❤ hunting ❤ follow me on twitter @BamitsEmilly
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Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7619) - you deserved it (28314)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25512) - you deserved it (6297)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25512) - you deserved it (6297)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16409) - you deserved it (1797)
On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar
Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17933) - you deserved it (1371)
On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to take Viagra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23782) - you deserved it (4491)
On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18247) - you deserved it (1410)
On 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm - health - by shanxi (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13089) - you deserved it (7013)
On 05/23/2012 at 5:38am - intimacy - by Fire0fisis (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (3585)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5252) - you deserved it (36077)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6277) - you deserved it (23122)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36960) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36960) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18796) - you deserved it (1596)
On 05/15/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by uni life (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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