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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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like_whoa

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like_whoa
  • Town/Country : Arlington, Virginia, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 November 1981 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 433
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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like_whoa's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

#1893907 (349)

I agree, your life sucks (67913) - you deserved it (2841)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

#1872793 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (75184) - you deserved it (3287)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

#924163 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (87610) - you deserved it (2863)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (57810) - you deserved it (3407)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of a ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. 'Shrek' was sitting beside me. FML

#850097 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (7887) - you deserved it (100146)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

#849768 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (118630) - you deserved it (5145)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I put my AIM status on my Current iTunes song. It also does it for videos I don't know. I've downloaded a lot of porn in my iTunes, and I wanted to watch. My status on AIM was "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

#798927 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (12569) - you deserved it (101525)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

#706614 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (58654)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML

#661204 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (44915) - you deserved it (23898)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by enriquegay (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML

#628837 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (18839)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (10922) - you deserved it (54514)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that driving five miles an hour under the posted speed limit is "suspicious" and cause for a field sobriety test, breathalyzer, having your car searched and being handcuffed on the side of the road. FML

#619035 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (62884) - you deserved it (8022)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (138247) - you deserved it (18735)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43454) - you deserved it (361070)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

#505587 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (58830) - you deserved it (8030)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)