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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20249) - you deserved it (4837)
On 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72171) - you deserved it (7428)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28357) - you deserved it (3651)
On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9434) - you deserved it (17254)
On 01/28/2010 at 6:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Telemark)
Today, after months of enduring my neighbors relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30060) - you deserved it (2528)
On 09/22/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by bellaellaella (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my fiance and I went to the bar to celebrate my new job. When we got home, we were pretty horny from the alcohol and headed upstairs. While we were taking our clothes off, he began crying out of nowhere and exclaimed "Maybe I'm just gay!" They say true feelings come out when you're drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46530) - you deserved it (2548)
On 05/23/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by jaded401 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (167983) - you deserved it (51068)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32060) - you deserved it (381763)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (363090) - you deserved it (401439)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53965) - you deserved it (3763)
On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)
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