Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lifesfailure

Search for a member

lifesfailure

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2959
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

lifesfailure's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b>BadBoyz90210</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 9:25am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:16am

lifesfailure's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lifesfailure's badges

lifesfailure's favorite FMLs

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10250) - you deserved it (35722)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML

#11636469
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33705) - you deserved it (2714)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:57pm - misc - by Emily - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17928) - you deserved it (56692)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10900) - you deserved it (51076)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

#8651104
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29398) - you deserved it (3070)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:05pm - love - by ifaisal - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

#8581671
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5348) - you deserved it (60885)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22322) - you deserved it (2545)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

#8238239
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (4041)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (3316)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I bought a brand new huge leather recliner. After laying down and watching football for some time, I sit up and hear a loud shatter. My iPhone was crushed by the mechanics of the chair after it slipped out of my pocket. FML

#8080103
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (7512)

On 02/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

#7835158
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (2514)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:03am - animals - by Brittany (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10901) - you deserved it (31876)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I went on a date with the hottest guy I've ever met. He is also rich and successful, and would probably be perfect for me, if only he could stop bragging about it. FML

#7586037
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25282) - you deserved it (12575)

On 01/26/2010 at 6:30am - love - by OTZ - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

#7499044
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28388) - you deserved it (2301)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34597) - you deserved it (7373)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: