lifesfailure

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lifesfailure

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4756
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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lifesfailure's page activity

Visits<b>RobertTheSPOOK</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 1:53pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b>BadBoyz90210</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 9:25am<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 4:19pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:16am

lifesfailure's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lifesfailure's badges

lifesfailure's favorite FMLs

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

by E or / 07/13/2010 at 9:41am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML

by Emily / 07/03/2010 at 2:57pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

by emilygreeny / 06/18/2010 at 1:42am / United States / Health

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

by ifaisal / 02/25/2010 at 10:05pm / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Love

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

by nutcracker / 02/23/2010 at 4:28am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Miscellaneous

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

by Mary / 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

by dzisfml / 02/14/2010 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I bought a brand new huge leather recliner. After laying down and watching football for some time, I sit up and hear a loud shatter. My iPhone was crushed by the mechanics of the chair after it slipped out of my pocket. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2010 at 2:54am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

by Brittany / 02/03/2010 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

by Wowsers. / 01/30/2010 at 3:47am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with the hottest guy I've ever met. He is also rich and successful, and would probably be perfect for me, if only he could stop bragging about it. FML

by OTZ / 01/26/2010 at 6:30am / Love

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 1:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

by snorlax / 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous