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lifesfailure

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3014
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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lifesfailure's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b>BadBoyz90210</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 9:25am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:16am

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lifesfailure's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

#13854165
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27978) - you deserved it (6502)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:17pm - love - by kylie (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (5437)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

#13822299
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (4003)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

#13777689
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38423) - you deserved it (6896)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

#13718140
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28391) - you deserved it (8620)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37964) - you deserved it (7988)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5590) - you deserved it (27169)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (2981)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, I got a text from my ex: "I miss you." I was happy to hear this, so I replied "Really?" I got in return "Not really, I'm just really horny and thinking of you." FML

#13285189
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29232) - you deserved it (5125)

On 10/02/2010 at 2:25am - intimacy - by rawr101 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

#13045293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27061) - you deserved it (9543)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38106) - you deserved it (7641)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18232) - you deserved it (29274)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36482) - you deserved it (6275)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31685) - you deserved it (16349)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

#12248112
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8633) - you deserved it (69968)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by manicmandy - United States (Nebraska)



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