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lifesfailure

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lifesfailure

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  • Number of visits : 3134
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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lifesfailure's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b>BadBoyz90210</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 9:25am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:16am

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lifesfailure's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

#16003587
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38314) - you deserved it (3929)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46860) - you deserved it (13881)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34538) - you deserved it (10810)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

#15045692
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9663) - you deserved it (73901)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29599) - you deserved it (5184)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

#14670842
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7140) - you deserved it (47872)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML

#14572536
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (11334)

On 01/13/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (3150)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42313) - you deserved it (3259)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

#14345671
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10865) - you deserved it (24415)

On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

#14315930
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (2522)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by nick (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

#14044782
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5234) - you deserved it (44406)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70918) - you deserved it (4964)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML

#13949497
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6949) - you deserved it (53282)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by horn-y (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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