lifesfailure

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lifesfailure

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4588
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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lifesfailure's page activity

Visits<b>RobertTheSPOOK</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 1:53pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b>BadBoyz90210</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 9:25am<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 4:19pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:16am

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Up and coming moderator

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50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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lifesfailure's favorite FMLs

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

by anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

by / 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm / United States / Health

Today, I learned that if I don't give my mom attention immediately after she calls my name, she will throw a baseball at me. FML

by wooowmom / 06/04/2011 at 9:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

by minecraftwilldie / 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were driving to a costume party. On the way, we got into an argument and she kicked me out of her car. I had to walk around the city center in an Iron Man outfit trying to find the party venue. FML

by 2ndplacechamp / 06/01/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, a rather large woman came in and ordered a cheeseburger. When asking if she would like to supersize it, she took her purse, smacked me, and told me she wasn't fat, and how rude I was for calling her supersized. I was just doing my job. FML

by Me / 05/31/2011 at 2:49am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

by Brie / 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Animals

Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML

by adogg18 / 05/29/2011 at 4:12am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, after having not used my laptop since January because I thought it was broken, I found out that the key lock has been on the whole time. FML

by shouldhavecheckedthelock / 05/28/2011 at 9:56pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

by greenhide8 / 05/28/2011 at 1:27am / United States (North Dakota) / Money

Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, "This is Sparta!" I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML

by taydean / 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Health