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lifesfailure

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lifesfailure

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3016
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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lifesfailure's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b>BadBoyz90210</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 9:25am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:16am

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lifesfailure's favorite FMLs

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

#18080621
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11840) - you deserved it (32932)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

#18071485
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22209) - you deserved it (13765)

On 10/25/2011 at 11:00am - health - by Michael - Australia

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37093) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

#18048411
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14789) - you deserved it (46170)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49535) - you deserved it (3866)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37554) - you deserved it (2918)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44871) - you deserved it (5037)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (3148)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (10950)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34600) - you deserved it (3445)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (5493)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48085) - you deserved it (7812)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

#17100769
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (2124)

On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

#16950296
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30930) - you deserved it (2365)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

#16644081
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10398) - you deserved it (37002)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:37pm - misc - by failure461 (man) - United States (California)



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