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lifesfailure

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lifesfailure

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  • Number of visits : 3019
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b>BadBoyz90210</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 9:25am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:16am

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lifesfailure's favorite FMLs

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

#1487277
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51279) - you deserved it (10033)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22412) - you deserved it (59025)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51423) - you deserved it (18159)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (235208) - you deserved it (24537)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

#278978
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72841) - you deserved it (10344)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by MoneyMike (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

#229986
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71173) - you deserved it (6908)

On 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by promdump (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9286) - you deserved it (61148)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

#5925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15511) - you deserved it (44677)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7772) - you deserved it (31578)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)



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