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lifesfailure

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lifesfailure

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  • Number of visits : 3017
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b>BadBoyz90210</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 9:25am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:16am

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lifesfailure's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15 year old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

#6633448
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32449) - you deserved it (11932)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:34pm - kids - by Sadface (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML

#6613732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22553) - you deserved it (13992)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by Marcella_03 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37081) - you deserved it (4429)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10073) - you deserved it (38244)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38737) - you deserved it (2947)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

#6356317
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7493) - you deserved it (62536)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Adam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML

#6355717
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11158) - you deserved it (45751)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6937) - you deserved it (66951)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6090) - you deserved it (33871)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

#5912025
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6872) - you deserved it (148356)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

#5716405
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you deserved it (7710)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

#5681273
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36778) - you deserved it (8576)

On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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