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  • Number of visits : 4823
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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lifesfailure's page activity

Visits<b>RobertTheSPOOK</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 1:53pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b>BadBoyz90210</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 9:25am<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 4:19pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:16am

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Up and coming moderator

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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lifesfailure's favorite FMLs

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

by h4rdy / 03/09/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent five dollars on a virtual cat. FML

by bobbeta30 / 01/11/2012 at 11:33am / United States (New York) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

by bellaskyeb / 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 12:54am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had to cancel my birthday party because of snow. It's October. FML

by bethanygirl / 10/29/2011 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

by me / 10/29/2011 at 12:43am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy