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About lifemyfuck89 : ...
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40498) - you deserved it (3373)
On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32936) - you deserved it (2523)
On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51225) - you deserved it (8082)
On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9348) - you deserved it (39480)
On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28697) - you deserved it (5224)
On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (9090)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13980) - you deserved it (1782)
On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34163) - you deserved it (5789)
On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25506) - you deserved it (5380)
On 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by tb351 - United States
Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (4652)
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22537) - you deserved it (5967)
On 05/23/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by sleepy (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (13256)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)
Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32157) - you deserved it (3005)
On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you’re ugly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35533) - you deserved it (4113) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/10/2011 at 10:56am - kids - by Hahapasdroleleptit - France
Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (5448)
On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -
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