liecake

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liecake

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1361
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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liecake's page activity

Visits<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:39am<b>Daniven36</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:35am<b>tartar18</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:49am<b>Duriexp</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:00am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:59am<b>eli_aldridge</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:59am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:34am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:39pm<b>1pirelli1</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:35pm<b>sherinealali</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 11:14pm<b>nedyakyanno</b> - the 12/31/2010 at 8:07pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/27/2010 at 7:54am<b>greatwyt</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 8:06am

liecake's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

liecake's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

by R_U_CEREAL / 07/04/2009 at 4:58am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

by vickyxanne / 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

by emoney / 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

by GreenMonstR / 04/25/2009 at 1:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous