Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

liecake

Search for a member

liecake

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 938
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

liecake's page activity

Visits<b>eli_aldridge</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:59am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:34am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:39pm<b>1pirelli1</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:35pm<b>sherinealali</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 11:14pm<b>nedyakyanno</b> - the 12/31/2010 at 8:07pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/27/2010 at 7:54am<b>greatwyt</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 8:06am

liecake's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

liecake's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (37326)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39985) - you deserved it (3389)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38385) - you deserved it (3668)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I finally finished painting a house that took me 3 weeks to complete at 10 hours a day, including weekends, due to my dedication to perfection. When I went to meet with the homeowner for pay day, which was supposed to be $2000, he gave me $200, 5 tacos and then told me to "get the f*** off my lawn." FML

#12257246
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40259) - you deserved it (4852)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:05am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

#12239634
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (5092)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Chimychunga (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32959) - you deserved it (3070)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37317) - you deserved it (9672)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

#10925224
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35217) - you deserved it (4585)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by GrandmaShakers (man) - United States (California)

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32802) - you deserved it (14462)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20577) - you deserved it (2379)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19211) - you deserved it (2134)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (3803)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

#8874142
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20567) - you deserved it (5283)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
219 comments

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34156) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: