liecake

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liecake

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1416
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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liecake's page activity

Visits<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:39am<b>Daniven36</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:35am<b>tartar18</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:49am<b>Duriexp</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:00am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:59am<b>eli_aldridge</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:59am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:34am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:39pm<b>1pirelli1</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:35pm<b>sherinealali</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 11:14pm<b>nedyakyanno</b> - the 12/31/2010 at 8:07pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/27/2010 at 7:54am<b>greatwyt</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 8:06am

liecake's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

liecake's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

by SallyGeen / 07/27/2011 at 3:23am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2011 at 12:30am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML

by nolove4me / 06/29/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

by KittenTime / 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

by yobruh / 05/17/2011 at 12:54am / Kids

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

by reesemaster / 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

by diesel444 / 08/23/2010 at 1:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

by feartheend511 / 08/19/2010 at 11:48am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous