Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

liecake

Search for a member

liecake

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 906
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

liecake's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:34am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:39pm<b>1pirelli1</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:35pm<b>sherinealali</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 11:14pm<b>nedyakyanno</b> - the 12/31/2010 at 8:07pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/27/2010 at 7:54am<b>greatwyt</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 8:06am

liecake's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

liecake's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29409) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (4138)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

#17277146
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (36012)

On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

#17261824
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33213) - you deserved it (8173)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63168) - you deserved it (6598)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML

#16911050
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (3476)

On 06/29/2011 at 4:41pm - love - by nolove4me (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43997) - you deserved it (3119)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (6897)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41747) - you deserved it (5605)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37041) - you deserved it (10086)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34580) - you deserved it (48552)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

#14670842
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6941) - you deserved it (47222)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (9056)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

#12694516
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (20827)

On 08/23/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by diesel444 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

#12624086
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37168) - you deserved it (3190)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: