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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5674) - you deserved it (24980)
On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17625) - you deserved it (1469)
On 06/03/2012 at 12:13pm - love - by mothtal (woman) - Bulgaria
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (6419)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad turns around and says he was expecting him to have a guide dog. This is why I don't have much confidence in myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18651) - you deserved it (1155)
On 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by hitnmiss66 (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (6312)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17177) - you deserved it (1531)
On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14374) - you deserved it (8564)
On 05/23/2012 at 5:38am - intimacy - by Fire0fisis (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28127) - you deserved it (3454)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23327) - you deserved it (2176)
On 05/22/2012 at 10:32am - love - by angry girlfriend - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21758) - you deserved it (4405)
On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States
Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4798) - you deserved it (22551)
On 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by bronco_lover89 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I decided to save a few bucks and let my mother cut my hair. I then had to wait in the hospital for attention due to the fact that she cut the tip of my ear off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18192) - you deserved it (2861)
On 05/20/2012 at 10:29pm - health - by thejbarrick50 - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17526) - you deserved it (1890)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (1955)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17917) - you deserved it (1471)
On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)
Monday 17 June 2013
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