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license2chill

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license2chill
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 375
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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license2chill's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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license2chill's favorite FMLs

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

#20079097
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15816) - you deserved it (1282)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (5824)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

#20056763
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7884) - you deserved it (49125)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

#20056763
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7884) - you deserved it (49125)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (6476)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

#20012679
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (3911)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:37am - work - by mike h - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

#19543963
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21423) - you deserved it (3758)

On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38693) - you deserved it (3514)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML

#15156142
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (11370)

On 02/28/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by handyjon - United States

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (3004)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



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