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liamsummerfield

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liamsummerfield

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liamsummerfield's favorite FMLs

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

#20693212
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49900) - you deserved it (3432)

On 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm - misc - by WTFruits - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79580) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

#20588714
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (3771)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16947) - you deserved it (30866)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7834) - you deserved it (60616)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

#17627359
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31961) - you deserved it (7208)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29632) - you deserved it (4217)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

#14849029
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21046) - you deserved it (8788)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I made my mom a mix CD for her car. It took me ages to find just the right songs that would be perfect for her. When I played it for her in the car, she took it out and threw it out of the window. FML

#11798606
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30986) - you deserved it (4798)

On 07/10/2010 at 9:00pm - misc - by lovelikewoe (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

#4344107
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38508) - you deserved it (6674)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

#312852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27341) - you deserved it (125932)

On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1156238) - you deserved it (115866)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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