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lex999's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
by mjbx / 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Love
by Pimpleeater / 12/20/2011 at 2:45am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids
by Jane / 11/24/2011 at 8:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
by loves the smell of burning flesh / 11/01/2011 at 9:22am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by top dog! / 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML
by piercingfreak / 08/28/2011 at 6:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
by jab43 / 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML
by meggiemouse / 07/09/2011 at 2:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by Bailey / 04/05/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway." He then patted my ass and walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2011 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by PLU / 01/26/2011 at 7:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…