lex999

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lex999

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 February 2000 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 414
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lex999's page activity

Visits<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 9:35pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:18pm

lex999's FML badges

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lex999's favorite FMLs

Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

by mjbx / 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Love

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

by Pimpleeater / 12/20/2011 at 2:45am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

by Jane / 11/24/2011 at 8:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

by loves the smell of burning flesh / 11/01/2011 at 9:22am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

by top dog! / 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

by piercingfreak / 08/28/2011 at 6:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

by jab43 / 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML

by meggiemouse / 07/09/2011 at 2:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

by Bailey / 04/05/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway." He then patted my ass and walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2011 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML

by PLU / 01/26/2011 at 7:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy