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lex999

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lex999
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 February 2000 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 105
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lex999's favorite FMLs

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (2013)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

#20111523
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12928) - you deserved it (1679)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the car I got a great deal on a few days ago, needs a new transmission. I'm now the proud owner of a very large and very expensive paperweight. FML

#20066208
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15015) - you deserved it (5464)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:48pm - money - by BuspassBob - United States

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26482) - you deserved it (6476)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (3182)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

#19997167
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16253) - you deserved it (2044)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7488) - you deserved it (38283)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (38061) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML

#19368346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6978) - you deserved it (19870)

On 03/29/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by greeneyedpothead - United States (California)

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

#19366702
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5456) - you deserved it (22323)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by Cass - Australia

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

#19361300
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (7354)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by ouchouchouch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24864) - you deserved it (20389)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML

#19321337
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (2697)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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