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lex999

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lex999

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 February 2000 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 184
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lex999's page activity

Visits<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 9:35pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:18pm

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lex999's favorite FMLs

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML

#20722079
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43253) - you deserved it (6714)

On 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by mysea8679 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37559) - you deserved it (68187)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54867) - you deserved it (5349)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

#20716126
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34697) - you deserved it (8405)

On 06/09/2013 at 7:33pm - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41874) - you deserved it (13482)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38844) - you deserved it (3401)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49910) - you deserved it (7004)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44536) - you deserved it (8389)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49069) - you deserved it (11625)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23726) - you deserved it (8061)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (43179)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28234) - you deserved it (8737)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (1881)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (2378)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States



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