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lex999

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lex999

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 February 2000 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 134
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lex999's page activity

Visits<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 9:35pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:18pm

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lex999's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35150) - you deserved it (3636)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56928) - you deserved it (4071)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40393) - you deserved it (2398)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59074) - you deserved it (36941)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48800) - you deserved it (10169)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

#20729746
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48920) - you deserved it (5650)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43773) - you deserved it (3877)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

#20729503
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48452) - you deserved it (2726)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39945) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

#20726743
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46868) - you deserved it (4253)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61209) - you deserved it (6096)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50543) - you deserved it (3426)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60078) - you deserved it (5414)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47316) - you deserved it (12269)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56165) - you deserved it (3151)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)



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