Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lex1459

Offline (55 minutes ago) | Search for a member

lex1459

294Fucked!

lex1459lex1459
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5571
  • Number of comments : 263
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About lex1459 : You like krabby patties, don't you squidward?

lex1459's page activity

Visits<b>gis0392</b> - yesterday at 4:29pm<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:56am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:20am<b>moo_mima_moo</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:39am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:54am<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:27am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:08am<b>trailyss</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:12pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:34am<b>rgarz1</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:06am<b>jayemerald17</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:54pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:46pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:31pm<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:11am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:49pm<b>allimarcy</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 5:44pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 9:55am

Fucked!<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:28am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:23pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:43am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:23am<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:14am<b>hooAhhh</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:28am<b>tgranatire_12</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:42pm<b>Isak366</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 8:15am<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:49pm<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:00pm<b>terspal</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:45am<b>ddeveshh</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:42am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:41am<b>nomrana</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:34am<b>Eorlas</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:14pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:20pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:46am<b>AnonymousUser90</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:31am

lex1459's FML badges

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12052) - you deserved it (56638)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14567) - you deserved it (30533)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

#18253944
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (3303)

On 11/15/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by whoopsboutthecap - United States

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64573) - you deserved it (3217)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

#17757817
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24309) - you deserved it (3556)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30935) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (5364)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29141) - you deserved it (8021)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28777) - you deserved it (2864)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43789) - you deserved it (3576)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33204) - you deserved it (3077)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

#16267774
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12657) - you deserved it (39718)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46566) - you deserved it (5705)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (32138)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39380) - you deserved it (24341)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: