Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lex1459

Search for a member

lex1459
  • Town/Country : Alberta, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1651
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lex1459 : You like krabby patties, don't you squidward?

lex1459's last visitors

GunguymarulickoadubzdoesitiOceanusJaimeFlores96

lex1459's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24607) - you deserved it (2507)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39345) - you deserved it (3268)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29788) - you deserved it (2846)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

#16267774
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10453) - you deserved it (35358)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45002) - you deserved it (2944)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

#14114390
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (2038)

On 12/06/2010 at 11:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (7430)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (3352)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15282) - you deserved it (44847)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24236) - you deserved it (2425)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22869) - you deserved it (4995)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (30638)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22849) - you deserved it (5295)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: