Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lex1459

Offline (5 minutes ago) | Search for a member

lex1459

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2410
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About lex1459 : You like krabby patties, don't you squidward?

lex1459's page activity

Visits<b>TaraMoon</b> - yesterday at 9:59am<b>mariabrinley</b> - yesterday at 4:02am<b>ThreeLeBlancs</b> - yesterday at 1:36am<b>Thedudebroman</b> - yesterday at 11:48pm<b>JoshuahColins</b> - yesterday at 2:59pm<b>coltonte3</b> - yesterday at 1:04pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:22am<b>OlePal</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:21am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:41am<b>TheBrightSide00</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:21am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:48am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:53am<b>AkaMido</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:48am<b>Edumcg</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:06am<b>singer0421</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:43pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:40pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:30pm<b>GuessWut</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:09pm

lex1459's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32290) - you deserved it (5136)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26470) - you deserved it (2669)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43373) - you deserved it (3557)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30957) - you deserved it (2922)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

#16267774
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11402) - you deserved it (37323)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36625) - you deserved it (31265)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51528) - you deserved it (3811)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

#14114390
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27567) - you deserved it (2167)

On 12/06/2010 at 11:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (7906)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (4353)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17904) - you deserved it (56603)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (2630)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24676) - you deserved it (5213)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (32356)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30310) - you deserved it (3883)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: